Practicing The Art of Surrender

In personal development work and spirituality, we hear a lot about this concept of 'surrendering' in our lives. But what does this really mean? And how do we know when we are actually surrendering to life and when we're not?

Based on my experiences, personally and with clients, surrender is a word that is commonly misunderstood.

I’ve noticed there is a common belief that if we surrender to life, we are being weak or not taking action when we should.

The truth is we'll always have to take action to move forward in life, but action can take on many forms.

We can try and force our way through life or we can relax and allow life to unfold as it will and take action as planned to the best of our ability while staying open, curious, and flexible.

To clarify this idea further, let's use sailing as an analogy. A sailor uses the wind to navigate the water.

To control where they are headed, they have to keep taking action by moving the sails in the direction they want to go — that's in their control. However, the sailor must also work with the conditions of the wind and the water. They have no control over that. 

The wind and the water, let's call it life, mother nature, or the universe, is going to keep moving in the ways it wants to — it has its own mind.

Following that analogy, let's apply it to our lives. As we go about living our life and as we learn that life, mother nature, the universe has its own mind, we can fight against it and try to force our way through it.

Or we can surrender and allow what the universe, life, is giving us, and work with it. Dance with it. 

That said, I believe surrender never means to stop taking action and become a victim, letting life happen to us. It means that we stop being frustrated and reactive to life, and realize that we can dance with it, create with it, even when it's giving us the opposite of what we expected.

Learning to trust life is a big lesson I've had to learn, and when I trust life and flow with it, I find that it always gives me exactly what I need for my growth, even though it might not appear that way in the moment.

Going back to the analogy of the sailor, they might go into the water expecting smooth waters and winds, then realize it's absolute chaos out there. Instead of complaining, they choose to work with the conditions and learn how to stay present and learn from the chaos, even though it's not easy.

In the end, they're grateful because they've now experienced and learned how navigate chaotic waters and winds — a lesson they got to learn because they surrendered and danced with what life gave them in that moment rather than be victimized by it.

All that said, consider where you might by trying to force your will against what life is giving you, and therefore struggling. 

Where in your life can you surrender and use the forces of life to your advantage, rather than going against them?

Wishing you ease and joy,

Jonathan